Despite the recently discovered ability of humans to both ride bikes as well as drive cars, cyclists and motorists have long been pitted against each other for the purposes of poorly thought out documentaries or for tiresome headlines from tiresome newspapers, but at last we have unequivocal proof that the two are indeed separate tribes.
Thanks to a new profiling tool from market research firm YouGov, we can now profile cyclists and motorists (or people who are interested in Cars & Motorists vs people interested in Cycling).
There are some strange findings, so you’d better buckle up (or strap on your helmet).
It turns out that motorists are a bunch of Top Gear fans who can count Jeremy Clarkson as among their favourite celebrities, whereas cyclists prefer, erm, Top Gear and Jeremy Clarkson. Not so many differences there, but how about their choice of media? The Daily Telegraph is the paper of choice for Motorists, while Cyclists opt for The Guardian.
Demographics: Motorists tend to be male, aged over 60 and swing to the right of the political spectrum, with a typical profession of Engineering. Cyclists also tend to be male but are a touch younger (40-59), swinging to the left of the political spectrum but also typically in the Engineering profession, as with their motorist brethren.
East Anglia is cited as a Cyclist hotspot, while the South Coast is Motorist heaven, the market research firm reckons. In terms of shopping, Motorists are liable to pop into Asda for their weekly shop, while Cyclists prefer a trip to the Co-Op.
Need some more data to work out what tribe you are part of? Motorists are more likely to think that UKIP are just saying what ordinary people are thinking (we’re not making this up) while Cyclists don’t mind paying extra for organic food and, surprise surprise, like to be physically active. Perhaps most jarring of all the findings is that the favourite sport of Cyclists is skiing.
What else? Motorists’ favourite pet is a dog, while Cyclists prefer a fish. Cyclists listen to The Smiths and Motorists prefer AC/DC (just watch the volume in the car, eh?).
So there you have it, all the information you need to work out which of the two tribes you belong to.
If you’re aged between 40 and 59, love skiiing, enjoy organic food and own a fish (perhaps named Gerald) then congratulations – you are a bona fide Cyclist.
If, however you are aged below 40 or are female or also find yourself outside the ‘norms’ listed above then you’ll just have to work it out for yourself, unless the whole ‘two tribes’ thing really is just a load of old nonsense concocted to sell papers and get people to watch ill-thought out documentaries.